Succeed at Your New Years Resolution

Here we are, three weeks into the new year. A time of renewal, rebirth, and optimism. We're leaving the old behind, and looking forward to living the life we want for ourselves. Many of us use this changing of the calendar to set goals for the coming weeks, months, and year.

Around 40% of us make new years resolutions, but only about 9% of us are successful. 

So how do you become one of the 9%?

Readiness
First, let's do a little self-assessment. Are you *actually* ready to make a change, or is it that you think you *should* make a change? Ask yourself the following questions:

1) On a scale of 0-10 where 10 is high, given everything on your plate, how important is it to you to make that change? 
2) On a scale of 0-10 where 10 is high, how confident are you in your ability to make that change? 

If you cannot rate both of those questions at least an 8, then you're not ready to make that particular change. Does that mean scrap the whole thing? No. It might just mean that you start with a smaller goal that gets you closer to the larger goal.

For example, if your resolution is to quit smoking, but you can't rate importance and confidence at least an 8 out of 10, then set a smaller goal that is in the direction of quitting. Maybe it's reducing how much you smoke each day, or switching to a brand you don't like (menthols?), or eliminating places you can smoke (no more smoking in the garage), or delaying your first cigarette of the day to 9:00 AM instead of 7:00 AM.  Keep working on a specific plan until you can get to that 8 rating. Once you conquer that, then you can move onto another step toward the ultimate goal.

Planning Ahead
Second, are you white knuckling it and relying on sheer willpower? Was the plan to simply wake up on January 1 and not smoke anymore? Then, when you fail, you think, "I just have no willpower. I'm weak," and you feel pretty bad about yourself. The reality is: Most of us fail when we rely solely on willpower! What we need is skillpower, not willpower. 

So what skills are those? Depends on the resolution. One thing we all need to do is plan ahead. 

1) Research. What will it take to achieve my goal? What are the necessary steps? What resources do I need? Who can I talk to that has already been successful in achieving my goal? When is a good time in my life to tackle this goal? What do I have coming up in my life?

2) Plan. Use that research and make a plan. The more specific you can get, the more likely you are to carry it out. When? What days of the week and what hours of the day? How will you remember to do it? What might get in the way, and how will you overcome those obstacles? Whose help do you need? What is your reward if you're successful?

3) Dealing with triggers. Triggers are anything that make you want to go back to the old way and ditch your resolution. Could be people, situations, places, certain times of day, a mood, a smell, feeling tired, derailment of your routine by illness or some other stressful event. Learning the skills to deal with those triggers will help you overcome them and continue on with your resolution. There are three ways to deal with any trigger:
a) Avoid it. This is the one to use as much as you can, at least at first when you're first working on your resolution and are at your most vulnerable to go back to your old habits. As much as you can stay away from triggers, even temporarily, do it. If you're quitting sugar, don't go to your colleague's office birthday celebration where there's cake.
b) Replace it. If you can't avoid a trigger, replace the old habit with a new one. If your resolution is to quit sugar, and you are confronted with a birthday cake during a required staff meeting, replace the cake with something else. Quickly pop a sugar-free mint or gum in your mouth. 
c) Change it. If you can't avoid it, and you can't replace it, change it. Change the way the trigger looks and feels. If you normally have a cigarette with a cup of coffee on your porch, wait until you get to work to have that coffee. Go somewhere you can't smoke to have the coffee. Change the order of your morning routine. 

4) Write it down. Write all of this down and keep it with you. Something solidifies in the mind when we write things down. Keep it in a visible place where you'll see it daily. Out of sight, out of mind. And, your own words are more powerful than anyone else's. 

Happy New Years!

Resources:
https://www.statisticbrain.com/new-years-resolution-statistics/
Motivational Interviewing, Miller and Rollnick
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