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Living a Lie: Value Incongruence

5/15/2014

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Consider the case of the doctor who counsels his patients every day about abstaining from tobacco use for the sake of their health, then takes a smoke break. Or the person who wants open communication and closeness in a relationship, then avoids bringing up difficult topics. These people are both experiencing distress because their choices are not aligned with their personal values. This is called value incongruence. 

We know that when a person acts in opposition to their values and beliefs, their overall wellbeing declines - mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, etc. For example, a person working for an organization whose policies go against some of their personal values results in faster burnout. The more important the value, the bigger the impact on wellbeing.

Value Incongruence Self-test:
Read through this list and write down your top 10 values. Include anything that comes to mind that isn't on this list. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to get it right, just do it quickly and follow your gut.

Accountability

Achievement

Adaptability

Ambition

Attitude


Awareness

Balance (home/work)

Being the best

Caring

Coaching Mentoring

Commitment

Community Involvement


Compassion
Competence

Conflict Resolution


Continuous learning

Cooperation

Courage

Creativity

Dialogue

Ease with uncertainty

Enthusiasm

Entrepreneurial

Environmental

Efficiency


Ethics

Excellence

Fairness


Family

Financial stability

Forgiveness


Friendships

Future generations

Generosity

Health

Honesty

Humility

Humor/fun

Independence

Integrity
Initiative

Intuition

Job security


Leadership

Listening

Making a difference

Open communication

Openness

Patience

Perseverance

Professional Growth

Personal fulfillment



Personal growth

Power

Recognition


Reliability

Respect

Responsibility

Risk-taking

Safety

Self-discipline

Success

Teamwork

Trust

Vision

Wealth

Well-being

Wisdom

From your list of 10, now circle your top three values.

Reflect: 
What are you doing (or avoiding) that is aligned with these values? Keep doing it! 

What are you doing (or avoiding) that is NOT aligned with these values? Consider making a change.

Resources:
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for Depression
Some research here and here. 
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    Sarah Zuber, LCSW is a behavioral and mental health therapist serving the Portland, Oregon community.

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